#Wednesday Wisdom - It's Ok to Not Be Ok

Happy Wednesday!

I was of the school of thought that everything in my life had a plan and had to go according to that plan. So the plan was: Graduate from College. Get a job. Get married by 25. A big, beautiful, fabulous wedding. Have my first child soon after. Buy my first house. Be done by 30.

Reality: Life had me kiss a bunch of frogs only to discover that my husband would be someone I had known for 10 years. I got 2 degrees and went for my PhD but I couldn't finish it. I didn't get married until I was 28 and the wedding planning process stressed me so bad I almost ended up just going to the courthouse. I had my son when I was 29, my daughter when I was 31. And I have so much student loan debt a house is not even close to being reality.

Needless to say, I have felt pretty depressed on many occasions during my young adulthood because my life, as you can see, didn't match my plan. There were many days when I wasn't ok. And what I have come to learn is, that's ok.

Read: Its All About Self Care

I didn't hit goals on my timeline when I thought I would but I did hit them. I got married and he's amazing. I have my two beautiful kids. I don't have a PhD but I have come to realize I didn't really want one I just thought I should have one. A very expensive lesson by the way. But through it all I kept going. I kept persevering. I didn't give up.

Over the years I have developed ways to cope. From journaling, talking with my husband or sister, taking pressure off of myself to be perfect and re-focusing my mind.

Refocusing my mind has been the best tool I have in my arsenal. In this world of bad news constantly on a loop I've had to change my focus. As a Christian the Bible says that whatever is good, whatever is true, whatever is lovely think on these things. And over the years that has helped me tremendously in overcoming my hardest times. From limiting the things I watch and read (like the news and triggering movies) to pressing pause on my own negative thoughts to living in the moment and seeing the joy and beauty in where I am at knowing how far I have come.

Life is complex and depressing and lovely and beautiful all at the same time. Its a marathon, not a sprint. So practice self-care. Don't forget to celebrate the wins and if you need to, press pause. HalfOfUS.com has some great press pause techniques you can use to help reset yourself. Many of the techniques are things that I do.

If everything isn't the way you hoped that's ok and your not alone.

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Your Friend,
The Fabulous Shoe Maven

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